Fun
Cars vs. Computers
When Silicon Valley wants to look good, it measures itself against Detroit. The comparison goes like this: If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50. In response to all this goading, Detroit grumbles: Yes, but would you really want to drive a car that crashes twice a day?
If Microsoft Built Cars
* A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until AFTER that year.
* Every time the lines were repainted on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
* Occasionally your car would just die for no reason. You would just restart it. You would just accept this as normal.
* Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this, too.
What if people bought cars like they buy computers?
General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers. But imagine if they did...
HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!"
HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition and turn it?"
CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"
HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."
CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"
HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
A Prayer for an Internet Addict
The Lords Prayer with a difference
(This was on the cover of a birthday card I received from my brother-in-law)
Our computer, which art in the bedroom,
Hallowed be thy mainframe,
Thy modem on, thy chat will be done,
Online, in freeserve heaven,
Give us this day our daily e-mail,
And forgive us our downloads,
As we forgive those who download it to us,
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from sex pages,
For thine is the hard-drive,
The Power PC and the internet,
Forever and ever,
Logged on.